Undeniable LOVE!!!

Dear Angel,

Mommy is so sorry for what she has done. You mean & meant the world to me. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t ask myself why I couldn’t gain the strength to stand up to Daddy & tell him that you were more important to me. You are the only one that can make me smile & in the same second break me down. The long and lonely nights that Mommy screamed & cried for Daddy, you made me feel the love that I always dreamed for. Realizing that no man can ever share the bond or the love that we had. Now don’t get Mommy wrong, Daddy really loves you too but he can never understand what we shared. Just know that Mommy & Daddy were afraid, &too far away. How Daddy felt for me before is not how he feels about me today & we both made mistakes that will never go away. See Mommy thinks that through all the heartache & pain, storms & the rain, you were Mommy and Daddy’s treasure at the end of the rainbow. But in this case we will never really know. But Daddy didn’t want you &Mommy didn’t want to, & it was hard for me to convince Daddy that is wasn’t about us, just you. But Mommy always seems to give Daddy what he wants, just hoping there would be an “us”, again, for once. But as Mommy keeps holding on, Daddy keeps letting go, leaving Mommy hurt & all alone. But angel its ok, Daddy just doesn’t get it and I don’t know if he ever will. Daddy really loves you & Mommy forever will. If I could go back, I’d kill to make it all real. If only Daddy could have seen what I seen or feel what I feel, it wouldn’t be so surreal. The vision is so vivid of you sleeping like Daddy, it made me so happy to see that already you were just like him. And it was just like him, to take the easy way out, but if he’d just saw you there’s no doubt, that this scenario wouldn’t have played out. If only Daddy had seen you things would have been different, he would have worked with Mommy to make it work. Oh God, I can’t stand the pain or the hurt, it’s unbearable and I’m supposed to be unshakable, unbreakable. Look at what “love” made Mommy do, focused so much on Daddy that I abandoned you. I’m not worthy of you, but its over and done with so what can I do, besides promise you that the next time, it happens I’m not going through. As far as Mommy and Daddy I think we’re through, he doesn’t love me as much as I would like him to. Mommy is tired of stressing and guessing on how Daddy feels. So Mommy has to leave Daddy alone, no more talks on the phone and wishing he was home. I give up because I couldn’t get through, but maybe you can get Daddy to talk to you. Just help him understand, that I do love him as much as I love you, just get him to understand that he will probably never have love like the love we had. Mommy still wants Daddy so bad, but can’t deal with being sad. So Mommy is taking the risk of losing everything we ever had. Just thought Mommy should tell you what was going on and tell you that you haven’t been off my mind since you been gone. I love you angel.

Love Mommy